First, if we want our children to become all they were created to be, we need to help them root their identities in Christ because that is stable, secure, and true. We can root the change in our identity instead of willpower and build habits rather than set goals.
#Undistracted focus how to#
In James Clear’s bestselling book, Atomic Habits, he identifies two major themes for how to become better versions of ourselves. While she might not see the accomplishment, as parents, we see a Christ-follower who is flourishing by serving others with her talents and limited resources. My wife and I were concerned about how our middle school daughter would respond to being asked to give up her room, and she found positive emotion that allowed her to engage her Poppy in a relationship that had meaning. He found a hand-painted card on his pillow with a note on the back welcoming him to her room. When my father - their grandfather, whom my children refer to as Poppy - came to stay with us after the loss of my mom, my 13-year-old daughter gave him her room. My children have grown in all five areas that Seligman describes. However, this loss has resulted in their flourishing. While they knew she was in heaven, this was their first experience of losing a close family member. My mother passed away right before Christmas 2021.
What does this look like in real life? Our children have meaningful, stabilizing relationships with us that help them flourish. Meaning and accomplishment flow from living in community with others while we ground ourselves in communion with God. Our relationship with Christ has primacy and our relationships with others develop through the overflow of God’s love for us. We experience these emotions through deeper engagement with ideas and others in relationships. Positive traits like gratitude, resilience, and compassion come from our orientation to the Creator of the universe and lead to the positive emotions Seligman prescribes.
As a Christian parent, I know where my children can find these. In the book, Seligman asserts that flourishing consists of five pillars: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, wrote a book called Flourish. Positive psychology has emerged as a humanistic approach to flourishing that focuses on strengths instead of weaknesses. I’ll never judge the state of another person’s soul, so I don’t know that these researchers aren’t believers. I’m constantly amazed at the biblical truth they uncover. Even research from secular scholars reveals God’s truth, even when its authors are unwitting ambassadors of that truth. Research is a great way for us to know God. How do we help our children find their purpose and flourish this school year? Well-being is grounded in purpose-driven flourishing. (See the graphic on page 40.) As parents entering a new school year, we need to focus on the foundation of these three which is well-being. This is easy to remember because these three words form the acronym F.E.W.
I contend that it is only about three things: feedback, engagement, and well-being. Understanding teaching and learning isn’t that complicated. Because I’ve attended funerals of students, I’m increasingly convinced that each minute I’ve spent seeing and knowing each student has been the most valuable time I’ve spent. It changed me as a teacher and parent in that it focused me on what matters most. Order your copy today!īurying a student is almost as unnatural as a parent burying a child. This post was originally seen in the August issue of HomeLife Magazine.
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